Some posts are a place to gather my thoughts and reflect on how God is refining and purifying me, while other posts are a memorial, as with Joshua and the 12 stones, of what God has done. This post is to remember and thank the precious people who have been the hands and feet of Jesus to me over the last 5 years.
Outside of the last 5 years, there is only one other time in my life when I have truly needed other people to help carry me when I couldn't walk on my own. I have trouble accepting help, even when offered. God has a way of breaking down our pride and barriers in ways that are so kind and compassionate.
I asked to know Him more and He sent His people to reveal Himself to me.
I want to remember and say thank you. This thank you is long overdue. Perhaps it has taken me 5 years to heal in order to really say thank you because I now recognize just how much the Lord has taken care of me through all of you.
I started this post a month ago and am just now getting back to it, I think because it is so personal. I haven't cried over the pain and loss and destruction of 5 years ago for a long time. This week I have cried several times, some of the tears were because this time of year is a tender spot, some were tears of gratitude for what the Lord has truly healed.
This may be a long post or a 2-part post because there are too many people to thank!
To start at the beginning, I must thank Andrew, Emily, Allie and Aiden for being the joys of my heart and keeping me going when days seemed long and nights seemed longer still. This picture is from our first Christmas alone (Aiden was in my tummy). Andrew, Emily and Allie made sure we had Christmas just as close to how we always had Christmas, including Andrew putting up the lights and Emily and Allie helping because they didn't want me on the ladder while pregnant with Aiden. I know their pain was great then, too, but their joy and love blessed me then and blesses me now.
Oh, my, how little they were! This was a hard time emotionally for many reasons for all of us. I have always sent out a Christmas letter and family picture. I decided this first Christmas alone to only send a picture of the kids. I have done this for the last 5 years, much to the dismay of my children. They have wanted me to be in the picture. I have decided that they are right, I should have been in the pictures. This year I will be in our family Christmas picture. Yet this picture is a reminder to me of them agreeing to a picture of just them in order to help me at that time.
I wanted to find out whether Aiden was going to be a boy or a girl. I think Andrew was even more excited to find out if he would ever get a brother! My sweet children, mom, sister and friend Karen all loaded up in my van and drove to Woodland for the ultrasound appointment. Karen even filled my car with balloons to celebrate- she's good about that- celebrating life in the midst of suffering, for which I am very grateful.
There wasn't enough room for everyone to come in to the ultrasound room at once, so my children came in first. My mom said there was no doubt when Andrew came out that he was getting a baby brother, he just couldn't contain his smile! This picture is to remember celebrating life and joy and the gift of Aiden and the support and love of friends and family.
And these pictures are reminders of life and life abundantly:
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